Lowes and Raisins

Will summer never end? Two weeks and a day till my freedom rests assured. I work at Lowes. There, I said it. I’m not ashamed…okay maybe I am, BUT it’s better than siphoning poop out of trucks or telemarketing, both of which I’ve done. What’s up with their motto? Let’s build something together?? Please, I’ve unloaded the product and seen how it’s treated. I would not buy something from our store. Chances are you're buying something that will be damaged or fall apart. The only thing you’ll be building if you shop at Lowes is a bad temper because you have to go back and get a better product. Maybe I’m just bitter because management there is a joke and no one wants to work. I dunno, but I am DEFINITELY counting down the days until I am free. When that blessed day comes I will party! August 25th you’re just around the corner my good friend.

Hannah this is for you. Let’s talk about Raisin Bran. Pros and Cons.




Pros: It has a good taste. The wheat flake is quite good, (although wheaties flakes are better) however the secret is not in the bran but in the Raisin. Whoever came up with that whole TWO scoops bit deserves a hearty handshake and a pat on the back! That stuff is great, HOWEVER Raisin Bran Crunch! is much better.
It has granola in it. I mean what kid didn’t grow up on Grandma’s granola? Granola is made from whole oats (from the ground), honey (Mother Nature’s sweetner) and nuts (also from the ground) so how on earth could granola even be THOUGHT of as bad for you? Also the wheat flake in Raisin Bran Crunch has a lighter crispier crunch and sweeter flavor to it which leaves the consumer quite satisfied with their breakfast and ready to conquer another trial filled day.

Cons: Recent reports have been filtering in to the news and media that Raisin Bran is actually addictive. Yes, yes, folks it is in fact true. The FDA has found Pyridoxine a leading ingredient in Raisin Bran can actually not only cause dependency but if eaten long and often enough also cause addiction.

“We’ve found in over 80% of our case studies,” explains Dr. Hannibul, leading expert in chemical addictions, “Raisin Bran dependency leading to addiction happens most often when Raisin Bran is eaten as a three course meal throughout the day with no other food intake.”



Duke University has done research in the field of Raisin Bran addictions and discovered new and alarming results from test subjects. “A rare disorder has been discovered,” explains Dr. Lector, head of the Science Department at Duke, “in those who eat large amounts of Raisin Bran containing Pryidoxine. Rapid dental growth such as wisdom teeth and the like are quite common in those suffering from this rare disorder."

Media and other experts have referred to those suffering from this addiction as Raisinolics. Help maybe found for those suffering from this disorder by calling toll free 2085217563. Ask for a Mr.Chris Tal Shumate; Counselor, M.D.